Can We Talk?

There is nothing better than a good chat with a friend, especially if it occurs when we are engaged in something we love to do.

We have all had conversations where we came away thinking that we feel more alive, excited, or challenged by what we have heard or said. For those experiencing dementia, social interactions of all kinds--conversations, puzzles, games, group activities--provide cognitive stimulation to help maintain mental sharpness.

We at Among Friends understand how important conversations are, and we make sure that are plenty of occasions to have those moments when participants and volunteers can talk and listen to one another. That's why we have so many volunteers and different activities on any given day. We don't know which moment will be the one that leads to a great conversation: a discussion of the lunch menu, of the best way to build a Little Library, or the best technique to transplant a flower.

These conversations are not always easy or straightforward since a person experiencing dementia may understand others or express themselves easily one day--or one hour--and not the next. Dr. Suzanne Salamon, chief gerontologist at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, describes it this way: "If you think of the brain as millions of little electrical circuits with messages going from one area to another, a brain with dementia has areas that are clear and areas that are clogged up. Sometimes the electrical signals can find a clear path, and the person can answer more clearly; other times, messages get stuck. You don't what you're going to get on any given day--and it's hard."

Volunteers strive to be active listeners, looking at our participants directly, nodding affirmatively, and using other body language to let them know we are paying attention to them. If the participants are experiencing a different reality than we are, that's okay. We go with the flow. If they can't find a word, we ask questions to determine what they might mean. Such interactions decrease anxiety, sadness, and depression. They also increase joy and provide a sense of connection.

Among Friends has lots of "friends" willing to share their passions with participants in our program, creating experiences sure to stimulate memories, good feelings--and words. A fine classic car gives us lots to talk about as does a visit from therapy dogs. Discussions over cards or beanbag catapulting or mini-golf are all good.

But it isn't always the loudest and most dramatic moments on any given day at Among Friends that have most impact. The quiet chat--even if the words come slowly or don't quite fit--is also doing a world of good for participants, for volunteers, and for families who entrust us with their loved ones.

Social engagement in all of its forms helps to slow down cognitive decline, if even a little bit. Most importantly for us at Among Friends, it means giving our participants a place to be with their friends, to have some fun, to sing some songs, to play some games, to talk about their beloved pets, long ago baseball games, children and grandchildren, or memories of their grandparents' farm. We love to talk about all of it.

If you would like to join us as a volunteer, drop us a note on the Contact Us form or send an email to amongfriendsrf@gmail.com. If you are a caregiver and want more information about our program, please contact us.